Issue #40 - 5 lessons I learnt from facing life's crisis

.. and a note to self

So, here we are, celebrating another birthday and collecting more candles for the cake. They say as we get older, we also get wiser. It's like levelling up in a video game, but instead of gaining extra lives, we're gathering extra smarts. And you know what's even better? The load of regret and over-doing seems to be on a diet – it's shedding a few pounds as the years roll on.

Now, I'm not saying we turn into all-knowing wizards overnight, but with each passing year, it's like our brains upgrade to a newer version. We start to pick up on things, learn from our slip-ups, and become a bit of a pro at this game called life. It's like having a cheat code for wisdom.

But hold on, it's not just about becoming a walking encyclopedia. They also say we start caring a bit less about the oopsies from the past. It's not a case of amnesia, but more like we decide to cut ourselves some slack. We realize everyone messes up, and that's just part of the adventure.

And now, as we navigate through the wild ride of life, let's chat about some "hard-earned" lessons from the school of chaos.

In the crucible of crisis, life hands out lessons that no classroom could prepare you for. As I reflect on the turbulent times I've weathered, five crucial insights stand out, each etched with the raw honesty that only adversity can unveil.

So, let me know which of these lessons (or something new too) has helped you evolve as a better human being?

Lesson one hits hard: when the storm clouds gather, it's not always about the dwindling numbers in your bank account. It's the relationships, those threads woven into the fabric of your life, that are the true casualties. It's easy to believe that financial losses are the most significant blow, but the real heartache lies in the fractures of connections, in the fading echoes of camaraderie. It's a stark revelation that the wealth of relationships far outweighs any monetary fortune. A crisis peels away the layers, revealing the core truth: when the chips are down, it's the hand you hold, not the money in your wallet, that truly counts.

Lesson two is a bitter pill to swallow – empathy, that seemingly innate quality, often comes with strings attached. In the harshest moments, I learned that not everyone wears empathy as their default setting. It can be a rarity, a gem uncovered only in the most unexpected hearts. More often than not, what we perceive as empathy is a well-rehearsed act, a facade worn to navigate social expectations. Crisis becomes a litmus test, separating genuine understanding from the mere appearance of it. It's a revelation that forces you to reassess the sincerity of those comforting words and discern whether the shared sentiment is authentic or just a well-practiced script.

Lesson three unravels the charade behind the seemingly benign phrase, "take care." It turns out, it's one of the most commonly employed masks during challenging times. People throw it around like confetti, a casual adieu that often masks a genuine lack of investment in your well-being. It's not a callous gesture, but rather a socially conditioned response. We're programmed to utter those words without truly delving into the responsibility they carry. It's a realisation that teaches you to appreciate the few who go beyond the perfunctory "take care" and genuinely strive to ensure that you are, indeed, taken care of.

Lesson four is a solitary journey – your situation, no matter how intricately explained, is uniquely yours. Amidst the chaos, you might find yourself reaching out, attempting to bridge the gap between your reality and someone else's understanding. But the truth is, the contours of your struggle are a landscape only you can navigate. It's not a lack of compassion; it's an acknowledgment that empathy has its limits. People can listen, offer a shoulder, but the intricate dance of your circumstances is one only you can choreograph. It's a lonely realization that prompts you to find strength within, understanding that your narrative, no matter how well articulated, is a story only you truly live.

The final lesson, perhaps the most liberating, advocates for the beauty of vulnerability. In the throes of crisis, there's a tendency to armour up, to shield the raw edges of your emotions from the world. However, lesson five unveils the power of baring your soul to those you trust. It's a revelation that, amidst the turmoil, it's okay to crumble and reveal your authentic self. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your humanity. Sharing your true emotions with close friends, confidantes, and even children can be a cathartic release, providing solace and reinforcing the bonds that weather the storm with you.

What I learnt about myself amidst these rough seas?

As I traverse the landscape of these hard-earned lessons, I find myself standing on the other side of adversity with a newfound understanding. Crisis, it seems, isn't just a test of survival; it's a classroom that imparts wisdom with a poignant honesty. The value of relationships, the nuanced nature of empathy, the masked words of comfort, the solitude of your struggle, and the strength found in vulnerability – these are the elemental truths etched into the heart when life takes an unexpected turn.

Looking back, I recognise the transformation these lessons have wrought within me. I've become more discerning in the currency of connection, valuing the authenticity of relationships over the illusion of affluence. Empathy, once taken for granted, is now a precious commodity, recognized in the sincerity of actions rather than the mere utterance of sympathetic words. The casual exchanges of "take care" prompt a silent evaluation of their weight, filtering out the perfunctory from the genuinely concerned.

The understanding that my situation is inherently mine to navigate has brought a sense of self-reliance, allowing me to appreciate the support offered without expecting others to fully comprehend the intricacies of my journey. And in embracing vulnerability, I've discovered the strength that lies in authenticity, fostering connections that weather the storm with a resilience born from shared truths.

In the end, these lessons aren't just annotations in the chronicles of hardship; they are the guiding principles that reshape the contours of resilience. They are the echoes of a journey through the shadows, a journey that, despite its challenges, unveils the profound beauty hidden within the tapestry of life's trials.

So, getting older doesn't just mean more candles on the cake; it means becoming a bit smarter and carrying around a lighter backpack of regrets as we keep on truckin' through this crazy journey. Here's to another year of leveling up and maybe even finding the cheat code to a regret-free life!

Till next time,

Cheers,

Kalyani